car sessions 2018

remember 2018?

i do. it sounded like this:

here’s to another go around the sun!

xo lex

i die

{image via}

feeling monday like

[Pablo Delgado via]

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signs for healing, signs of hope: women’s march L.A.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

two days late, no bucks short

i made a point to shake 2016 off a full seven hours before the stroke of midnight with some deep meditation and a healthy dose of ugly crying. but i held tight to the tunes that carried me through the year, and two days into 2017, they still have me reaching for the volume dial. no baggage here, just feel good jams best served loud and spread round.

 

 

welcome me to the future, y’all. let’s make it bright.

xo lex

p.s. notably missing rom the above: “Freedom” from Beyonce’s Lemonade (damn Spotify library)

obsessed

with this song. this video. this girl.

fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 5

yesterday i looked up
i looked up and saw
that you were no longer my baby
i looked up and saw
that you had become my son

a year has passed,
more,
since you came to be
since we began the slow journey
toward knowing one another
life has come back to reclaim me
a jealous sibling
constantly competing for my time
it builds a wall between me
and the immediateness of our early days
with brick after brick of have-to’s
and i find myself asking:
what were you like back then?
were you really ever so small?

all i have left is a string of vignettes
soft-spun memories of our beginnings
of your tiniest self
golden
and delicate
and fragile to the touch:

the sparrow’s ribs beneath the surface of your torso;
the kiss-kiss purse of your tiny mouth;
the downy pillow of your cheeks;
the push and pull of your parenthetical little feet;
the gentle puff of your breath against my neck;
the soft lisp of your first whispers;
your toothless grin;
your wonder-filled eyes;
the feel of your dimpled fist against my chest;
the weight of your head in the hollow of my arm;
the unruly wisps of your gossamer hair,
standing up like a feather in your cap.

precious (few) details,
let me wear them around the neck of my soul
gather them in the palm of my heart
tattoo them to my mind’s eye
so that I may never forget
the magic of the days
when I was steeped in you.

– a.
july 6, 2015

the right note

a new red Moleskine planner and the latest issue of French Vogue are helping me set the tone for this year.

i like where this is headed.

fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 3

hush now, my love

no need to fuss

and wail as though the end is near

 

i’ll hold you close

and with my kisses

protect you from what it is you fear

 

and if all that love

just isn’t enough

to soothe your tender little heart

 

then come with me

take my advice

the record player’s where i’d start

 

let’s put us on some Etta

some Otis Redding too

we’ll play some Little Walter

find that Muddy Waters groove

 

then dance around the room

and fill our souls up with their tune

let their words soak through our skin

and put us in a lighter mood

 

cuz life can feel real heavy

when you let it in, it’s true

make a tangle of your insides

until you don’t know what to do

 

but if mama learns you anything

before this life is through

it’s that there ain’t no ill

that can’t be cured by the blues

 

– a.

december 31, 2014

fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 2

i’ve come to love the afternoon with you

that softly rounded peak of our budding daily rhythm

it emerges each day from the dull haze of morning

and floats aloft the often jagged edges of the evening hours

suspended time, it seems

defined by the slow shift of sunlight and shadow

against the living room curtains

a safe space for magical moments

and unexpected gifts

like those few precious hours just days ago

when you, my little jumping bean,

my little guppie always in motion,

grew quiet

and dreamy

and, nestling your head against my shoulder,

decided inexplicably —

deliciously —

to rest

your tiny body slumped against mine

wanting nothing

and giving everything

a fleeting eternity of utter surrender and perfect bliss

and i thought:

this is the stuff of true wonder

this, right here, is what will carry you through

– a.

july 8, 2014