Archive for the ‘words’ Category

fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 8

July 26, 2016


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fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 7

May 20, 2016


that moment

(as a mother)

when you realize what you have to do


let go of

doesn’t make it

any easier

to watch you grow up.


– a.

may 19, 2016

bedtime reading

August 25, 2015

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fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 5

July 6, 2015

yesterday i looked up
i looked up and saw
that you were no longer my baby
i looked up and saw
that you had become my son

a year has passed,
since you came to be
since we began the slow journey
toward knowing one another
life has come back to reclaim me
a jealous sibling
constantly competing for my time
it builds a wall between me
and the immediateness of our early days
with brick after brick of have-to’s
and i find myself asking:
what were you like back then?
were you really ever so small?

all i have left is a string of vignettes
soft-spun memories of our beginnings
of your tiniest self
and delicate
and fragile to the touch:

the sparrow’s ribs beneath the surface of your torso;
the kiss-kiss purse of your tiny mouth;
the downy pillow of your cheeks;
the push and pull of your parenthetical little feet;
the gentle puff of your breath against my neck;
the soft lisp of your first whispers;
your toothless grin;
your wonder-filled eyes;
the feel of your dimpled fist against my chest;
the weight of your head in the hollow of my arm;
the unruly wisps of your gossamer hair,
standing up like a feather in your cap.

precious (few) details,
let me wear them around the neck of my soul
gather them in the palm of my heart
tattoo them to my mind’s eye
so that I may never forget
the magic of the days
when I was steeped in you.

– a.
july 6, 2015


fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 3

December 31, 2014

hush now, my love

no need to fuss

and wail as though the end is near


i’ll hold you close

and with my kisses

protect you from what it is you fear


and if all that love

just isn’t enough

to soothe your tender little heart


then come with me

take my advice

the record player’s where i’d start


let’s put us on some Etta

some Otis Redding too

we’ll play some Little Walter

find that Muddy Waters groove


then dance around the room

and fill our souls up with their tune

let their words soak through our skin

and put us in a lighter mood


cuz life can feel real heavy

when you let it in, it’s true

make a tangle of your insides

until you don’t know what to do


but if mama learns you anything

before this life is through

it’s that there ain’t no ill

that can’t be cured by the blues


– a.

december 31, 2014

early wisdom

November 10, 2014

soul is good

{from A Little Bit of Soul Food by Amy Wilson Sanger}

fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 2

July 8, 2014

i’ve come to love the afternoon with you

that softly rounded peak of our budding daily rhythm

it emerges each day from the dull haze of morning

and floats aloft the often jagged edges of the evening hours

suspended time, it seems

defined by the slow shift of sunlight and shadow

against the living room curtains

a safe space for magical moments

and unexpected gifts

like those few precious hours just days ago

when you, my little jumping bean,

my little guppie always in motion,

grew quiet

and dreamy

and, nestling your head against my shoulder,

decided inexplicably —

deliciously —

to rest

your tiny body slumped against mine

wanting nothing

and giving everything

a fleeting eternity of utter surrender and perfect bliss

and i thought:

this is the stuff of true wonder

this, right here, is what will carry you through

– a.

july 8, 2014

fieldnotes on motherhood, vol. 1

June 9, 2014

remember tonight:

standing on the stoop

just before sundown

bare feet on cool concrete

slight toussle of the evening breeze

whispering of summer

and the stillness

that wrapped the neighborhood



leaving just you two,

you and your infant son,

to hear the birds in their bedtime banter

and see the sunset suspended

in the shatter of water droplets

dangling like forgotten diamonds

from the bouganvilla

the gentle sway of your dance together

the impossible softness of his arm

and the bare blue of sky

reflected in his eyes

just you two

alone in the universe

of small blessings

– a.

8th of june, 2014


February 13, 2013

“a human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. he experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. this delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

– Albert Einstein

the vintage man

February 1, 2013


Between a good artist
And a great one


The novice
Will often lay down his tool
Or brush

Then pick up an invisible club
On the mind’s table

And helplessly smash the easels and

Whereas the vintage man
No longer hurts himself or anyone

And keeps on


~ Hafiz ~